


they're wrong about you

by shuanime



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Racist Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24096310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuanime/pseuds/shuanime
Summary: joshua has to deal with his demons, and vernon is there with him through it all
Relationships: Chwe Hansol | Vernon & Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Hong Jisoo | Joshua
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	they're wrong about you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [minishedswords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minishedswords/gifts).



> hewwo great human :> thank you so much, pixel! u are the best.
> 
> enjoy this jisol brought to u by pixel's angsty request.
> 
> (i may or may not have forgotten to put in more fluff)
> 
> (i may or may not have made the OCs really boomer-like)
> 
> (set in canon, but i had to adjust time stuff because apparently svt dont rest they just board the plane one day before a major performance pls boys rest b u r n p l e d i s indeed)

They have been idols for almost three years now, and that’s why it’s easy for Joshua to pack his bags as quickly as he could without thinking twice anymore. Stylists take care of their stage outfits. The only thing they have to worry about when packing is the clothes they use in their free time, and Joshua is generally known as the member who brings with him only those things that spark joy. But right now, he can’t help getting overexcited with his belongings because the stop is Los Angeles.

He’s coming home tomorrow.

Well, he’s not going to his hometown for _home_ —his career path doesn’t work like that. SEVENTEEN is in the line up for KCON LA 2018 where they would perform their songs and own the stage. It’s truly something to be enthusiastic about despite the fretting brought by the fact that he’d be hosting with Vernon. Out of the members, they’re not really the ones who brandish the communicative, host-y personality, but somehow the thought of becoming an MC in the presence of his mom excites him.

He’s just so excited to be back home, and the idea of his mom watching him perform live fills his heart with some sort of gratification like he’s showing right in front of her the fruits of his hard work. It’s her smile, her nods, her pats on his back when she hugs him tight that makes Joshua feel like everything is worth the wait and exhaustion and the inevitable rock bottoms.

He lays out on the bed the clothes that he plans to bring. He doesn’t have many clothes that he bought for himself because he usually uses stuff from fans, and when he’s trying to mix it up, he uses the other members’ clothes. With a smile on his face, he starts humming a tune while rolling the clothes that he’s sure would look good on him and putting them in his luggage.

The door opens, but he doesn’t turn around to look. He knows who it is just going by the footsteps… and the feel, perhaps. He knows his boyfriend’s air—if that makes any sense.

“You’re awfully chirpy,” Vernon utters from behind him. The acknowledgment makes him smile more.

“Some would say I have the LA glow.” Joshua throws a wink in his direction before going back to what he was doing. The younger just shakes his head at how ridiculous that sounds.

Vernon looks over his shoulder, eyes darting to the only unfamiliar clothing. “That coat will look good on you.”

“Yeah?” Joshua puts it in front of him and turns to face the body mirror at the corner of his room as Vernon sits on a free space on the bed. “I thought so, too, when I ordered it online.”

“Put it on,” his boyfriend urges him. “Let me see.”

Joshua is just about to slot an arm in one of the sleeves when his phone starts ringing. Joshua immediately presses the accept call button. Vernon just shrugs but then smiles when he mouthed, ‘ _It’s mom_. _’_

Joshua presses the accept call button. “Hey, mom.”

“Hey, mom,” Vernon greets as well. Joshua puts it on speaker.

“ _Hey, baby,”_ his mom’s voice chimes through. _“Hello there, too, Vernon dear.”_

Vernon pulls out his phone and wiggles it in the air, signaling that he’s going to play games on his phone to give Joshua and his mom some privacy.

Joshua chuckles, “Vernon’s listening—you’re on speaker, mom. He’s playing…” Joshua peaks at the other’s phone. “ _Zombie_ _Tsunami_.”

 _“Oh! I have that app on my phone, too,”_ his mom exclaims. Joshua watches Vernon’s grin widen.

“Kids these days,” Joshua jests with the exact tone his mother used to him when he was younger and more stubborn. It earns a laugh from his mom.

“What’s cookin’?”

_“Banana bread in the oven. Grandma's favorite. But first, let me talk about how great it is to hear your voice again. I miss you so much, baby. I can’t wait to see you perform at KCON. I already told all my friends about my celebrity son.”_

“I hope you didn’t exaggerate again, mom. But me, too. It’s all I can think of right now.”

_“You know that I’m proud of you, right?”_

“Yes, mom. You let me know all the time.”

_“Even if we’re oceans apart, I’m the proudest mother in existence.”_

Joshua’s eyes water a bit, and Vernon glances at him warily. Joshua is not a crier, but he can’t help tearing up when his mom is being herself—her inherently supportive and loving self.

“I know,” he says, voice quivering a little. “Don’t make me cry, please. Vernon is here.”

“He’s being a big baby!” Vernon adds from the background, making Joshua’s mom chuckle.

_“Alright, alright. I love you, snoogums-boogums—”_

“No!” Joshua visibly panics, and Vernon loses in the game because he snickers too forcefully at that. “I love you, too, but I know you’re doing this on purpose!”

His mom clicks her tongue. _“Kids are no fun when they’re all grown up.”_

“You’re making fun of me because you know Vern can hear.”

 _“Ah, you caught me,”_ his mom sighs. _“My sweet little detective.”_

Joshua turns to look at Vernon who is silently laughing in his spot. It’s like they’re both conspiring against him.

“I’m taking you off speaker now. It’s like you two planned this,” Joshua says as he brings the phone to his ear. “It’s just me now, mom.”

_“Alright. I’ll get to why I had to call you.”_

“Is everything okay there?”

_“Yeah, you don’t have to worry, baby. It’s just that Brandon—do you remember him? Your best friend.”_

“Of course, mom. We keep in touch.”

_“Well, Brandon came over last night asking if you’re already home, but you weren’t just yet. So your grandma and I invited him over for dinner instead, and we got to do some catching up.”_

“I’m jealous,” Joshua sighs, sitting next to Vernon who’s now intently looking at his phone screen, back resting against the headboard. “I wanna catch up with him, too.”

Vernon looks at him, curiosity etched on his face as if asking who. Joshua mouths Brandon’s name, making him nod knowingly and go back to his game.

 _“He said there’s a reunion party at your high school!”_ The delight in his mom’s voice is pronounced. Meanwhile, Joshua’s heart is slowly falling to his stomach. _“It’s going to be so much fun.”_

“Mom, I’m home for work, you know that.” Joshua tries to reason.

Contrary to what his mom thinks, it’s not going to be all rainbows and butterflies.

_“Aw, come on. It’s not going to clash with your schedule, I promise you that. It’ll be on the night before, and it won’t be too long, baby.”_

Joshua internally curses. Memories of distress come flooding back in, and he just would rather not be put under the same misery he had before. “But I’m going to be tired. I need to rest up for the performances—”

 _“Why are you so against it, baby?”_ His mom’s voice turns worried. _“You had the best times of your life with your high school friends.”_

What friends? If only he can tell his mom why he would really rather not be there or ever meet with people from his high school.

He was never part of any high school fun. He’s more like… the target of people who were “having fun.”

Somehow, Joshua managed to keep it from her. He thanked his luck in life for doing a full 360 and giving him a chance to get out of that place without breaking his mother’s heart in the process.

Joshua coped and kept it to himself for so long; he shouldn’t unload years of experiencing torment to his mom right now.

“I’m just really _scared_ ,” he whispers, but Vernon catches the way his voice sounded small from beside him. “I’m scared I’ll be too tired for KCON.”

His mom doesn’t catch it, however. _“Aw, come on! It’s going to be fun. And it won’t end late at night at all! I already asked Brandon about the details since I know my baby boy is all booked and busy.”_

Wearing a worried look on his face, Vernon nudges Joshua lightly with his elbow. Joshua gives him a small smile—one that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll go,” Joshua sighs. His mom lets out a loud _Yay!_ that Vernon hardly hears from next to him. Joshua smiles a little bit brighter with that.

“But I’m not staying. The guys might worry if I’m gone for too long.”

_“That’s more than okay. Just go check it out, have fun, and maybe brag a little. Tell them to come watch your performance.”_

“Mom, I’m not going to a reunion to plug KCON.”

 _“You never know what kind of audience you may gain after,”_ his mom presses. _“Anyway, my banana bread is almost done. I have to take it out of the oven. See you tomorrow, baby?”_

“Yeah. See you tomorrow,” Joshua says in a little voice. “I love you.”

_“I love you, too. Keep safe. Tell Vernon I love him, too! Bye-bye.”_

“Okay. Bye, Mom.”

The phone call ends. Joshua feels like he can finally breathe. He clutches the phone to his chest, eyes closed. His breathing sounds hefty like he’s sighing every two seconds.

When he remembers Vernon is just beside him, he murmurs, “Mom said she loves you.”

“I’m blushing,” Vernon quips, earning a chuckle from Joshua. He feels like Joshua has something going on, but he doesn’t particularly know what.

It’s just that his energy is suddenly off—way different from how he was before the call.

Joshua doesn’t speak, and the younger figures he shouldn’t prod around. Joshua doesn’t look like he’s ready to share whatever is in his thoughts. He leans his head on Vernon’s shoulder for a while, but after one last big sigh, he gets up and resumes packing.

But this time Joshua doesn’t take his time. He packs as if he just wants to get it over and done with. The flight to Los Angeles would be in an hour. He shouldn’t overthink clothes—that’s impractical.

Vernon grabs him gently by the wrist, and Joshua takes notice of how he’s being hasty. Vernon touches him and time slows down.

“Are you okay?”

The look in Vernon’s eyes is genuine. He wants to help, but he doesn’t know how to.

But Joshua doesn’t know how to explain, too. His thoughts are all over the place. He finds himself saying, “I’ll tell you when I already have it sorted out.” He takes Vernon’s hand in his and squeezes it before letting go and going back to his packing.

“I’m okay,” Joshua says more to himself than Vernon. “For now.”

* * *

Vernon finds himself stealing glances at his boyfriend who’s currently looking at the clouds with an empty stare.

Joshua managed to put on a cheerful look at the airport for the cameras, but the moment they boarded the plane, he slouched in his seat, biting his lips the whole time. He doesn’t pay attention to Vernon who’s sitting next to him which is not a thing that would ever bother the younger, but it’s different this time that he knows there’s something heavy in his mind.

With a hushed voice, Vernon leans in and asks, “You okay?”

Joshua jolts awake from his deep trance. “Hm?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah—Yeah,” Joshua nods, blinking fast. Vernon just shakes his head.

He’s being gentle with his movements and words. Joshua right now looks like a vulnerable little bird who needs to be held carefully and properly and not scared off.

“No, you’re not. I’m not going to force you to tell me what you’re thinking about, but it looks like it’s a little heavy. I’m here, okay?”

“Yeah. Okay,” Joshua replies. Vernon sees his eyes glisten but not for long as he turns his head to the plane window abruptly.

They’re not about to land any time soon. There are still at least 9 more hours before they get to LAX, so Joshua decides maybe he should tell Vernon what’s going on in his mind. The younger will not admit it, but Joshua knows Vernon can easily grapple at what the people around him feel. Joshua can’t hide anything from him. Not that he plans to hide anything from him.

Besides, no one in the whole wide world would understand him more than Vernon.

So, after thinking a bit more, he pulls at the younger’s sleeve. Vernon gets that look on his face.

A look that’s the equivalent of open arms.

Still whispering as to avoid disturbing the others aboard the plane, Joshua explains everything. He doesn’t get into the details. The things that happened to him in high school, all of those haunted him even in his sleep. And he doesn’t want to dump all of those on his boyfriend.

“So basically, I was the target of those who had too much fun,” Joshua wraps up his story. “It’s something I’ve learned to keep from my mom. She had too much on her plate around that time. I couldn’t add on to the things she had to think about.”

“I understand that,” Vernon reassures him with a hand over his own. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

And that’s always how it is with Vernon. You don’t have to explain because he doesn’t judge.

“Do you really have to go to the reunion?”

“I already gave mom my word.” Joshua lets his head rest on Vernon’s shoulder. “And we’re grown-ups, you know? I think we’ve matured past that.”

He’s holding onto the possibility that maybe… maybe they’re not as bad as they were anymore.

“I’ll come with you.”

Joshua looks at him, confusion etched on his face.

“I’ll come. I’ll be there so you have someone familiar around you.”

“You sure?”

“Well, you said we’re grown-ups,” Vernon says as he rests his head on top of Joshua’s. “I think they’ll have the decency to be nice, at least, if not apologetic about what they’ve done to you before. But it’s still good to have someone on your side, whatever happens.”

Like Joshua, Vernon tends to see the good in people—heck, he sometimes actively seeks for it. Joshua doesn’t have to look at his face. He closes his eyes, and he sees Vernon’s calm expression, the one that assures him that everything is going to be okay.

_If not, we’ll go someplace far away. We can come back when we’re strong enough to make it okay._

And Joshua finds peace in that.

“Okay, you can come. But don’t wear flashy clothes. No rainbow hoodies.”

“We can’t wear pride?”

“We can’t wear anything that would attract attention,” Joshua silently laughs at his goofy question. “But you can hold my hand the whole time if you want to show pride.”

“Sweet,” Vernon says with that toothy grin of his. Joshua moves to place a kiss on his cheek.

Maybe, just for a little while, Joshua feels like it’s actually okay, even when it’s not. And it helps him sleep throughout the flight.

The unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach only comes back when the plane has landed.

* * *

The reunion get-together is not bad in terms of venue. It’s a little flower garden perfect for the after-lunch theme they got going on. It’s a good thing Joshua dressed smart casual (Vernon, too.) Like this, they don’t feel over or underdressed.

Normal. Normal is good. Normal is not noticeable.

In the car on the way to the venue, Joshua briefed Vernon about his plan to not speak, pretend they don’t exist, and just do as the Romans do. But Vernon felt like that would make it seem like they’re snobbish people, and Joshua had to rethink his whole plan. Now they’re going to do it Vernon’s way which is to act like normal people and socialize.

 _Socialize_. How can one word be so terrifying?

At first, Joshua just looks around but makes himself look smaller at the same time. He notices some people who look familiar, but he couldn’t quite remember their names since he had no recollection of ever having a relationship with them (aside for maybe being classmates). Vernon’s presence is a great help. Joshua feels less self-conscious or wary about his surroundings with him making conversation and diverting Joshua’s attention. They’re sitting next to each other at the French garden chairs near the rose bushes, nursing the cocktails that were served earlier on. For a moment, Joshua feels a little convinced that no one is going to recognize him anyway.

Until a woman with sunglasses on top of her head and brightly rouged cheeks comes up to them.

“Hong?” She asks, and Joshua suddenly wants to go home.

Vernon smiles at him and squeezes his hand. _It’s okay_.

“Is that you, Hong? I’m Karen Miller—don’t you remember?” 

The woman holds out her hand, and to be very honest, Joshua doesn’t know who this person is, but he doesn’t want to be rude, so he takes her hand and shakes it. “Y-Yeah?”

Karen sits on the garden chair in front of him. “Oh, how adorable! You still got that little stutter of yours.”

Joshua smiles uneasily. Years of being mocked about his slight stutter come to mind. “It’s better now.”

“And who’s this?” Karen sends a wink in Vernon’s direction, making Joshua feel really uncomfortable. None of them is the jealous kind, but something about that wink feels disturbing. “Who’s your little friend here?”

Vernon clears his throat, squeezing Joshua’s hand gently again and urging him to answer comfortably. “He’s m-my boyfriend. Vernon.”

“LGBT. I’m all for it! Equal rights and shit, right?” Karen says, raising her eyebrows high and offering Vernon a handshake which the younger took politely despite those distasteful remarks. Joshua cannot stop looking at her very red cheeks.

There’s awkward silence—at least for Joshua, it’s awkward. Karen’s eyes are bulging a little with how high she raises her eyebrows. Her blonde hair is sporting a bob cut that makes look older than probably really is. She’s taller than Joshua. Just about Vernon’s height. She’s wearing a brown cardigan and an ID lace that says _Bay Area Spa_. She also carries a big tote bag with her.

If you put her next to Joshua, he’ll feel like he can be her son.

Karen—maybe noticing the silence—calls two more women over. “Hey, girls! Over here!”

Joshua prays he’d just sink into his seat.

He looks at Vernon who, in turn, brings a hand on his back, rubbing light circles as if to calm him down.

 _We’re grown-ups,_ Joshua keeps reminding himself. _Maybe we’ve moved past this._

“Hey, Karen!” A woman with blue hair wearing a linen shirt tucked in high-waisted pants makes her way to them. Behind her is another woman in a yellow dress.

Karen stands up to hug the blue-haired woman. Joshua feels lucky both Vernon and he currently have brown hair.

They all take a seat at the remaining garden chairs. Karen quickly introduced him and Vernon, and for some reason, these people can remember him very well.

One thing about Joshua in high school was that he never looked up. That was one of the strict rules that he followed. Looking up meant meeting eyes, and in a world where he has to at least try to prevent something from happening to him, he didn’t want his eye contact instances to be interpreted as a challenge. There have been times he was harassed because of simple eye contact. He learned to never look up again after that.

He never looked up, not once. He never remembered the names of his bullies, the face of his bullies. He just wanted them to be over so he could get home.

Joshua learns their names now… years later. The blue-haired girl is named Olivia. The one in the yellow dress is named Stacey.

The girls take charge of the conversation. They asked each other what they do now. Stacey said she’s a freelance model, Olivia says she has sole proprietorship operating online, and Karen talks about her life as a 5-star spa manager. They all chatter about what they’ve been doing for a living, laughing loudly and maybe talking over each other. Joshua also notices large amounts of money being talked about, but that’s probably about their salary.

Joshua whispers to Vernon, “It’s not so bad.”

“Don’t force yourself, okay? Tell me if you want to leave.”

“It’s okay for now—”

“So, Hong,” Karen directs her attention towards him, making the other two do so as well. “What do you do?”

“Uh—I—uh—” he looks at Vernon for saving, but he remembers he should handle this on his own. Vernon is just here to help him focus. “I’m an assistant manager for a… a music group.”

It’s almost as if he can hear Vernon ask what are you saying? through his gaze.

Karen, Olivia, and Stacey all look like they pity him so much. “An assistant manager? Wow, I didn’t know the little _gay_ _boy_ of LA knew how to assist and manage things. How’s that going for you?” Karen asks.

Joshua winces at the nickname. It brings back a lot of memories he’d rather repress. Vernon also stills upon hearing it. “It pays enough to support me and my mom.”

Karen wipes a nonexistent tear from her eyes and reaches out across the table to touch Joshua’s hand. “Oh, sweetie. If you need anything, don’t be shy to ask for help, okay?”

“Okay…” Joshua quietly replies.

Vernon sits in silence next to him. He really, badly wants to find the good in these people, but somehow it feels like they’ve been looking down on Joshua since the very second they saw him. Joshua may have reasons why he didn’t tell them his real job, but their eyes? The tone of their voices? The way they use nicknames like that… it ticks Vernon off.

“You just dipped mid-school,” Stacey says, her high-pitched voice bringing shudders in Joshua’s spine. “Everyone was talking about it.”

“Yeah. Everyone thought you moved back to _ching chong_ land.” Stacey laughed at Karen’s comment while Olivia smiles as she drinks her cocktail. Vernon suddenly has the urge to just storm off, but he’s trying to maintain composure. Joshua’s smiling politely at them despite the pain that is visible in his eyes.

Casual racism is nothing new to Joshua. When he’s in South Korea, he doesn’t feel Korean enough because he can’t speak the language as well as the others. When he’s in the US, he just doesn’t look… _Caucasian_ , so he had to endure being called names that. It was a fact of life for him.

Apparently, until now, it still is.

“That’s just because he had to go to South Korea to train.”

It’s a whole surprise to Joshua when Vernon suddenly speaks out from beside him.

“Joshua was cast to become a trainee for a company.”

“Cast? As in, like, for porn?” Olivia says as if it’s funny. She looks at Karen and Stacey to see if they react, and indeed they do. The other two laugh at the idea.

Vernon, however, calmly explains, “No. Nothing of that sort, at all. I’m talking about trainees who become K-pop idols after debut.”

“K-pop?” Stacey asks. “I thought you’re an assistant manager?”

“Yeah, no. We’re actually in the same K-pop group. It’s called SEVENTEEN. You should check it out.”

Joshua tugs at Vernon’s sleeve. He doesn’t understand what the younger is doing but Vernon sends him a placating look that says _trust me, I got this._

“We trained really hard. Joshua had to give up school and his home for it. He just really dreams so big.”

“Never heard of it,” says Olivia. Vernon remains calm while Joshua descends at the thought of confrontation. “What do you do in your little group, Joshua? And why lie about it?”

Joshua stays silent. He knows Vernon would want him to defend himself, but he just can’t. he doesn’t know how to explain his job, or how to explain himself. He never chose to do that before.

“Joshua’s just too humble. He’s one of the lead vocalists. He arranges acoustic versions of our songs and many more. The group wouldn’t be the same without him.”

Vernon says all that while looking at Joshua. He feels warmth on his face as he listens to all that.

Karen asks, looking disinterested, “Is this sixteen eighteen group even a thing? I don’t know anything about it. Must be like a YouTube thing, huh?”

“We’re performing at the Staples Center tomorrow. That’s why we’re here in the first place.”

Their eyes widen at that. Karen suddenly looks like she’s interested in whatever Vernon or Joshua has to say.

For the next following minutes, the three women just ask them about their line of work, how it works, and even how much they earn. Vernon kept the answers concise and private. Joshua answered some questions, too, all timid and polite.

“What’s up, losers!?” A booming voice that sounds a bit distant call out, putting a stop to their conversation.

Joshua’s mind turned blank. He’d recognize that voice anywhere.

“Hey, Jeff,” Karen measly greets the newcomer, a man wearing cargo pants and an American flag t-shirt. She looks disappointed that she doesn’t get to fuss over her celebrity friend, Joshua, anymore.

He can barely recognize the man called Jeff if he’s just going by his physical appearance. But he can surely remember his fist once made contact with his gut. And many more areas of this body. He can remember clear as day that voice that plagued his nightmares.

“A friend?” Vernon asks, looking less optimistic. His hand on Joshua’s back somehow feels more protective than anything else.

“Hell yeah!” Jeff says in a resounding voice that makes Joshua jump from his seat a little, leaning a little to Vernon’s direction. “I miss you, buddy!”

Jeff takes Joshua in a headlock and ruffles his hair vigorously, making Vernon feel anger rush through him. Before he could do anything, Jeff lets Joshua go. Joshua looks like he’s about to throw up. Vernon takes a second to register his trembling hands.

Joshua pulls at his sleeve once again, eyes pleading him for help.

“We have to go. We need our energy for our stage tomorrow.”

“W-We gotta go, guys,” Joshua says quietly. Still polite, even in his pale, shaken state. “It’s nice to see you again.”

They both stand up—more like Vernon stands up and assists a shaken Joshua to get up from his seat.

“Leaving already? Man! It’s too early for sucking dick, right, Josh?”

For the first time in his life, Vernon wants to fucking punch a guy square in the face.

But, again, before he could act on his rage, Olivia expresses offense on their behalf. “That’s not cool, Jeff. Shut up.”

Vernon uses that moment to usher Joshua out of that place. They’re almost near the exit, but his ears still catch Jeff’s obnoxious voice.

“What?” Jeff bellows and chugs the bottle of beer in his greasy hands. “Can’t take a joke now, snowflake?”

Vernon has to take him somewhere far from here.

He believes in the good in people.

But maybe now… right this moment… he just believes in Joshua and the good in him and his silent resilience.

* * *

“Do you want to go somewhere, you know… quiet?” He breaks the silence in the car. It’s not too late, so there’s no rush to get to the hotel. “Tomorrow will be really busy. We could use some fresh air to breathe.”

Joshua doesn’t respond for a beat. But then he sighs and says, “Okay. I know a place.”

Joshua guides Vernon to drive to a quiet spot amid the hustle and bustle of LA. It’s a beach not as known as the popular ones. There are people, yes, but the sun already set, so it’s less than the usual summer tourists.

When they get out of the car, Joshua leads him to a part of the beach where rocks are scattered. They settle themselves on a spot where it’s clear of rocks.

If he looks up, he’s going to be greeted by a sky full of stars. But for some reason, he can’t lookup. All he wants to see is Joshua and know how he’s holding up.

It’s not that late yet, so there’s no rush going back to the hotel and Joshua deserves this moment of silence for himself. Vernon doesn’t ask or comment—it’s clear that Joshua was suffering from bullies in high school. They were both mental and verbal and physical agony that Joshua had to go through.

“I just want to move on and not be bothered by it anymore.”

Vernon stays silent and lets him talk. He tilts his head up and stares at the stars instead. A moment of privacy is all he could give him right now.

“Because that was the past,” Joshua continues, cheeks streaked with fresh tears. “Today I’m creating something special, so my yesterdays shouldn’t matter.”

Joshua thinks Vernon beside him the whole time was his only strength. He would’ve been broken and nothing if not for him holding him up like that. 

After a moment of silence, of Joshua just crying next to him, Vernon speaks up.

He just won’t let this day end without putting Joshua’s mind at rest.

“They’re wrong about you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not the problem. I don’t like to judge, but, hey—they’re really insecure people trying to make you feel bad about yourself, so they can feel high and mighty.”

Joshua lets the tears flow freely.

“I know you’ve probably heard this from someone else before, but you’re not defined by the caricature of you that they have in their… their _stupid_ heads.”

“You said a curse word,” Joshua jokes with a sniffle. He tries to make light of it, but Vernon sees how it break him. “I know. I know. But when I’m in front of them, I forget.”

“There’s no way you’ll ever see them again. I’ll make sure of that.”

“Whoa,” Joshua chuckles. He finds himself suddenly… light-hearted? “Don’t go around murdering people.”

“Not murder,” Vernon lets out a frustrated sigh. “I’ll make sure you don’t go to another reunion like that again. You clearly have no good memories of them. There’s no point in seeing them ever again.”

“You’re right,” Joshua says, leaning his head on Vernon’s shoulder. He feels the exhaustion settle into his bones. “I want to spend all of my remaining time with people that matter. With mom. With the members. With you.”

Vernon plants a kiss on the top of his head. He wraps an arm around his shoulder, too.

“We’ll go someplace far away. You don’t always have to look back.”

“How do you always know what to say?”

“I don’t know,” Vernon whispers against his hair. “I just know I mean every word.”

* * *

And maybe when they’re performing _Oh My!_ in front of a huge crowd _,_ Vernon steals a glance at Joshua and his beautiful smile that reaches his eyes.

And maybe when Joshua performs in front of thousands of people, his mom somewhere in the crowd, he finally feels proud of what he has become.

This is where he’s the happiest.

**Author's Note:**

> idk how american bullies are so i just imagined white privileged boomer-ish and karen
> 
> shooters4joshy, assemble! 
> 
> hehe ty for reading :)
> 
> Yell at me here:  
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/shuquishy)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/shuanime%E2%80%9D%20rel=)
> 
> also im trying to save up and quarantine isn't making that too easy for me soooo my [fanfic com mis sions](https://ao3-shuanime.carrd.co) are open if you’re interested! comeesh me ♡ 
> 
> you can also buy me a cup of [[coffee](https://ao3-shuanime.carrd.co/#ko-fi%E2%80%9D%20rel=)] as support (only if it’s coming from the goodness of your heart hehe please don’t feel pressured!) 
> 
> kudos with love please AND your feedback and feelings, i wanna read them all on the comments! thank you for reading hehehe


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